Why is she like that?

My face is becoming better and everyone agrees. I'm wearing less and less makeup to cover and feel less self conscious when I go out.

Until I went Orchard just now. The land of the beautiful people.

You know when I was young and fat I never wanted to go Orchard. Cos going there made me feel uglier and fatter than I can ever be. And I kept away from it all throughout my teenage years. Then when I grew up got older and began to dress better... After compliments starting coming in, then I would go with no second thoughts.

But recently cos of this skin thing... That old thinking came back.

And what made it worse...

I got home after taking a "beating" at Orchard... and was greeted by

"Aiyoh! Will never recover one meh?"

Tears started welling up in my eyes... "It's better already."

"Better meh?"

My voice started to waver... "Ya....."

"See already also sad ah"

Tears started to flow.
But I'm the saddest person. I'm the one who has to go out ugly. I'm the one who did this to myself. Who can be sadder than me over my bloody face?

Everyone says it'll get better... why can't she do the same? My Sis consoles me everytime she sees it and tell me it seems to be better. Others who dun really know what to say dun say anything. Love always asks me to look at him in the face and not siam him.

Why can't she?

I know. I guess this is the way she expresses concern. But I'd rather she not.

Is it ever going to be normal again? I dun know. All I know is... I hope I pray I wish.