mm Yes.. our last date. I sent him off at the airport.
I still love him.
Somewhere in my heart there's still this place he lives in.
Somewhere in my mind, there's this place that's specially built to think of him.
But I've accepted it.
He brought up the reasons many times in the past year.
And each time I asked for us to stay together.
But I guess...
He sounded so determined this time.
It's been tiring for him too...
To call me in wee hours of the night when he had just trudged back home.
It's been tiring for him ...
to try to arrange to include me when his family needs him so much when he's back..
and he really wants to go out with his friends too.
For me?
It's been tiring to wait and not know when I have to wait till.
Don't be mistaken.. I've not waited for nothing.
I've not been waiting for him to marry me.
Each time.. I've only waited to hold his hand again..
To be in his arms ...
To hear his whispers just next to my ear.
Before he left... he apologised.
If anyone knows him...
That's one thing he hardly ever does.
Esp to me and his family...
an apology... is hardly heard.
Before he left he apologised a few times...
We agreed to be friends
and I'm happy about that.
For now, it'll be about my family, my friends and work.
:) I'm ok.
Not great. Not yet.
But I'm ok.
It's for the best for both anyway. Sometimes holding on too long for something that will never materialised is more excruciating and unfair to both as they are deprived the chance to move on and know someone better or more suitable.
ReplyDeleteMy taiwanese Ex and I parted after 4 years because she couldn't accept living in Singapore and she wants to be near her parents as much as I wanted to be near mine. So it is best to let each other go and have that chance before it is too late.
Pain is natural for such an occurrence. Every word in the post shows how you loved and valued this beautiful chapter of your life.
ReplyDeleteWJ. Thank you. I'm not sure what that "something" is because I don't look forward to marriage so.. I guess I never waited for anything to materialise. :) But Thank you for your advice.
ReplyDeleteKaren. Thank you very much. It indeed was a beautiful chapter in my life. A good 4 years. :)
* A pat on your back *
ReplyDeleteLife goes on :)
Thank you Lao Beng. :) It certainly does.
ReplyDeleteHope you be better someday instead of just ok.
ReplyDeleteThank you simpleguy. I love your profile pic. :)
ReplyDeletetake care.
ReplyDeleteimpetuousman
Thank you IM! :)
ReplyDeleteHope you're fine. (:
ReplyDeleteTL... thank you so much. Your comment means a lot to me. I'm ok. still working daily. Thinking about work more than anything else... working very hard... and also playing hard. The nights are lonelier but they'll get better. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that, Bobo. I guess we could see that it was coming. Personally, I have always found long distance relationship to be really tough. Cheer up! A broken heart doesn't last forever.
ReplyDeleteWhen you meet the One you're destined for, you will know. It's a feeling that's hard to describe, but I think most married couples know it.....or maybe it only works for guys...
live goes on as usual.. hope u'll pull through!!
ReplyDeleteHi Adrian! I believe in that too. And i believe that it's not right to marry if the person is not absolutely right.. in that there mustn't be doubts. :) Thank you for your consolation.. I'm much much better now. :)
ReplyDeleteHI Dexter! Thank you! I Will!
I believe that when someone leaves it is for the coming of someone else. Stay positive and be patient for that special someone is definitely on his way!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dylan. Probably. I shiver at the thought of going through the whole thing again. I'm never good at it.
ReplyDeleteDay by day, hope you are getting better. :)
ReplyDelete